A Visit with Charlie

I stepped out of Dad's car and onto the sidewalk, scanning for Grandpa Charlie. We were meeting for lunch at his favorite restaurant, The Lodge. I hadn't seen him in several weeks and I wanted to spend some quality time with him prior to leaving for school.

"Hey, Ness." He walked up and gave me a quick hug. I inhaled his scent, savoring it. It was still rather difficult for me to be around humans at times, but I was pretty much used to it at this point. He and Sue and other humans smelled differently from Jake and the other shape shifters. He smelled delicious. I faintly remembered having a penchant for biting Mom while she was still human, and Jake as well, as a baby.

"Hi, Grandpa Charlie." I pulled him in closer, hugging him tightly. I missed him so much. The fact that my time was limited with him made me want to spend even more time with him. I would leave for school in just a couple of months.

He released from my embrace and stared at me. "I swear, you have grown a foot since I saw you last." He wasn't entirely off by too much. He shook his head. "I don't understand it. I'm not going to pretend that I do."

"I know," I assured him. "I've had a ... growth spurt." My whole life had been a growth spurt. I was six years old and already 5'5".

He took a deep breath and then we walked toward the restaurant. He held the door open for me. "I hope you're hungry."

"Ravenous," I agreed. But not so much for food. I would survive, though. Part of being a Cullen was playing this public role. It was more difficult for me to have to do with family, though. We took a seat at a small, quiet booth near the back of the diner. Our smiling waitress brought us two menus.

"I think I'll have a veggie burger and a small green salad," I told the waitress.

"I'll have the works cheeseburger." Charlie handed the menu back to the waitress. "And we may split some cobbler for dessert."

"That sounds great." I did occasionally have a craving for sweets.

Charlie stared across the table at me. "I just can't get over how much you are starting to look like your mom," he mused. "You have exactly her shade of eyes, or the shade her eyes used to be." He shook his head. "I guess there are some things that it's just better I don't understand. One thing that hasn't changed is how much she loves you, and so do I."

"I love you too, Grandpa."

He laughed. "You even ordered the exact same thing that she used to when we ate here. Are you becoming a vegetarian too?"

You don't know the half of it. I simply nodded. There was so much I wanted to share with him. I longed to share it with him. It almost physically hurt for me not to tell him, but I knew that the more he knew, the more danger he would be in. "So, what have you been up to lately?"

"I went fishing with Billy the other day. He's been really lonely lately, since Jake has been gone so much. That kid really needs to take a hint. You're much too young for him."

"Jake...understands me. He gets what it's like, living the life that I live. I think you know what I mean."

He nodded, deep in thought, and then cringed at what must have been a memory. "Yeah, I do and I don't, Ness." He smiled, easing the tension. "As long as you don't change into a giant wolf, I think we'll be OK."

I laughed. "That's one thing you don't have to worry about."

The waitress soon arrived back with our food. "Here you are, Charlie." She turned to smile at me. "Ness, I can't believe how much you've grown. You really do look a lot like your uncle Edward." This was the public story. I hadn't really gone out in public, away from the reservation or the Cullen's house, very much until recently, when my growth had started to slow. I was introduced to the people in town as Dad's niece, the teenage daughter of his older brother. Both of my parents had recently died and I was left in their care. Charlie had met me as a baby and this was the story he was originally told as well, though he saw through the story almost immediately.

I smiled politely. "That's what people say, though I really have my mom's eyes."

She nodded. "She must have been a very beautiful lady." She walked away slowly, leaving us to enjoy our meal.

"Anyway, yeah. Jake is great. I'm not exactly sure where that's headed, but...I do like him a lot."
"The feeling seems more than mutual," Charlie laughed.

I chewed my veggie burger in silence for a few moments. "Grandpa Charlie, there's something I wanted to tell you," I said finally. He look up from his plate. "Well, I'm almost grown now... and I've decided to go off to school in Portland for a while. I'll be back for holidays, and some weekends. I just really think it's time I experienced life outside of Forks."

He nodded slowly. "I knew this was coming eventually. I know that you're growing up so fast. How...how are you going to explain this to your roommate, your classmates? Hell, I don't even understand it."

"Well, see, that's the good thing. By Grandpa Carlisle's estimate, I should be done growing pretty soon. I'll just look like an average college student."

Charlie sighed. "One of these days, you're going to have to quit talking in code like this. I love you so much, Ness, but I don't understand." He stared at me. "I just keep thinking that I'm going to wake up one day and you'll be gone, like you were a dream."

I swallowed. "We just can't really talk to you about that right now. I'll talk to Mom and Dad. I'm hoping, one day, we will be able to tell you everything. Just know that I do love you and I will be back." I shoved his arm playfully. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"I hope not." He sighed. "You're just a kid. I don't mean to dump all this heavy stuff on you. I just hate to see you grow up so fast. I hope you know what you're doing and you make the right decisions for you."

I nodded. "That's the thing. I don't know what the right thing is yet. That's what I'm hoping to find out. All I've known my whole life is life here in Forks. There seems to be such a big world out there, and I want to explore it."

"You're a smart girl, Renesmee. I'm sure you'll figure it out. You know, you remind me a bit of your grandmother, Renee, in that way. So curious about the world. I wish you could meet her, but I understand why you can't. Not right now anyway. Maybe once you quit growing like a weed..." He laughed.

"I'd really love to meet her. Mom's told me so much about her. I'd like to try to meet her one day. We'll work out the details." No matter what happened in life, I felt like everything would work out. I'd already overcome so many obstacles. My mere existance was a miracle. I knew that, with the love of my friends and family, I could overcome any obstacle. I may be being naive, but my mom always said that she believed that magic existed. How could I feel any differently at this point?

Family discussion

"Edward, what's going on? I saw something about Portland, but that's all I could see. Is this just a trip, or an extended stay?" Alice stood staring at Dad, her hands on her hips. She just couldn't stand being out of the proverbial loop.

"Relax, Alice. I was going to tell you all about it." He cleared his throat. "I'd like to be able to get the whole family together at once to make the announcement." He sat down on the sofa in the living room. I stood in the doorway to the living room, a little anxious about what my family's reaction to the news would be. True, it wasn't a done deal, but the thought still made me nervous. I was fairly certain that I almost had Mom and Dad on board, but if anyone in the family disagreed, well, that would complicate things.

"Fine." Alice dashed to the staircase. "Emmett? Rose? Come downstairs! Family meeting!" She almost bounced on her heels as she waited for them to come downstairs. "Jazz has gone hunting with Carlisle and Esme, but they'll be back in..." She frowned and closed her eyes, deep in concentration. "Eight minutes."

I couldn't help but giggle at Aunt Alice's enthusiasm. My mom walked up behind me, putting her arm around my waist. I leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Thanks for hearing me out, Mom, I told her silently.

She smiled at me. "I love you, Ness. I just want what's best for you."

Within a few minutes, upon Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper's return, I found myself sitting at the dining room table with Mom and Dad sitting next to me, and Jake on my other side. Six pairs of curious yellow eyes stared at me.

"I've been doing a lot of soul searching. I've decided I want to go to college. After doing a lot of research, I've decided I'd like to take some classes at Reed College in Portland. I'll probably start by going part time, just to get a feel for living on my own."

"We've decided to visit Portland in a couple of weeks and tour the campus, as well as look around for apartments," my mom added.

I stared into the eyes of my family. Esme spoke first. "Nessie, this is very exciting news, but are you sure you're ready to live on your own? Living in the city will not allow you to hunt..."

"I've thought about that. It will be difficult, but I really need to adapt to living among humans. I mean, I do fine around Grandpa Charlie and Sue, but I think that, once we move from Forks, I will have more chances to live out in the open. I need to get experience doing that. I don't plan to stay in Portland forever. I'll start with a semester and see how it goes."

Emmett grinned. "Little Nessie in the big city. I like it." He stood up and wrapped me in a big bear hug. "You better come home to visit, though."

"We will need to make some arrangements," Carlisle stated. "I'll try to see if I can get some human blood for you to take with you. Of course, you'll have to primarily live off human food."

"Perhaps a unit or two," Dad stated, "but I really think it's best if we try to get her off of human blood as much as possible. It will make the temptation that much stronger, being around humans all day."

Carlisle nodded. "You may be right."

"I don't like it." Jacob frowned. "Ness, I don't think you're ready to live on your own yet. I just don't."

I turned to him. "Jake, in ten years, you'd be saying the same thing."

He sighed, knowing I was right.

"I think it's a cool idea!" Emmett stated again, enthusiastically.

"I'm not so sure," Rosalie said hesitantly. "I have to agree with Jacob here." Well, there was a first. "I just don't know if you're ready." Rose and I had been close since I was born-well, before I was born, as my parents told me.

"It makes me nervous, too, since I can't see you," Alice stated. "It would make me feel a lot better if I could know what your future was, if there was any danger."

"Well, we haven't made a final decision. We're still planning a trip to Portland." Dad turned to Alice. "Do you think you could keep an eye on things, let us know if you see any sort of problems with that, at least?"

Alice nodded. "I'll do my best. It's not an exact science, though."

"We'll still have a lot of things to take care of," Carlisle said. "We'll need to get an updated drivers license, birth certificate, and social security card, among other things. I suppose we'll need to pay a visit to Mr. Jenks."

"I'm on it," Mom stated.

"If you really need the documents quickly, I can take care of it." Jasper grinned.

"I think it's best if I do it. We're not in that great of a hurry. The winter semester doesn't start for four months," Mom reminded him.

I smiled. It sounded like things were coming together. I looked to my left. Jake was frowning and had been silent for some time. I sighed. I wish he would understand that I needed this. If he wanted to do something like this, I'd support him, even though I would miss him. I wish he wasn't hurting so much over this. I touched his face. It's only for a few months, and I'll come visit you on the weekends, I told him silently. He nodded, but still had a distant, sad look on his face.

"I still don't think it's a great idea, but I suppose we'll see," Rosalie conceded.

We slowly stood up from the table. I was starting to get nervous now, too, to be honest. I glance over at Alice, but her face was expressionless. I really wished that she could see my future, but I'd always been a blank spot for her. I hugged everyone in the family and thanked them for their support.

Plans

I spun the globe around that sat in Carlisle's study. Where should I travel to? I looked down and my finger landed on China. I smiled, imaging my mother and father's reaction when I gave them THAT news. Where in North America? I amended. I had decided to go to college. I wanted to be an English major. I wanted to be an author one day. If only everyone knew that so much of the fantasy genre is actually reality. I thought of all of the novels about vampires and shapeshifters with a smirk.

College. I had been interested in going for a while. While I had no formal education- when you grew as quickly as I did, you could never attend high school - my extended family had been a source of great knowledge. Carlisle taught me of the sciences, with a focus on medicine, and Dad taught me music history and how to play the piano. I'd taught myself how to play the guitar. Jasper and Emmett taught me history. I'd learned much about the American Civil War from Jasper's time in the war itself. Mom instilled in me a love of language and literature. Alice and Rose taught me to enjoy visual arts- they often took me to museums (capped off by a trip or two shopping, of course). Esme's love for interior design was infectious. I may have to consider that as a program of study, as well.

What I hoped to get from college even more than a degree was life experience. Again, my rapid growth had limited me there. Sometimes Mom and Dad would take me on trips to Seattle or Portland, but I didn't really have any friends outside of my family or Jake's pack. I knew from Carlisle's studies that I should quit growing and aging soon, which afforded me much more opportunities.

After much careful consideration and a lot of online research, I decided that I wanted to attend Reed College in Portland. Reed was a private liberal arts college with a reputation of great literature and language departments. It also had a beautiful wooded canyon as part of its campus, in addition to being in Portland, which had a thriving urban environment and night life, which was just what I wanted after living in a small town my entire life.

Don't be a coward, I told myself. It wasn't like I was confessing to a murder to my parents - I was confessing that I wanted to go to college. Why should they have any objections?

I heard a soft knock on the door of Carlisle's study, and my father poked his head in the cracked door. "Ness? May we come in?"

"Sure, Dad." He walked into the room, and my mom trailed behind him.

"Is there anything you wanted to talk to us about?" Mom asked. She and Dad sat down in a pair of leather chairs across from me.

I swallowed. "Actually, yes. I've been giving it a lot of thought. I am almost grown, and well... I think I'd like to consider going to college for a while. You know, spending some time on my own."

Dad nodded. "That's a reasonable request, and Portland is not very far away. Reed is a great institution. Perhaps a tour of the campus would be a nice idea first."

I nodded, realizing my concern over how to tell my parents was unnecessary. I didn't realized Dad had been listening to my thoughts. It was annoying at times, and I definitely had to guard my thoughts around him some of the time, but it also came in handy on occasion. "That would be great. I'm really looking forward to experiencing life in a bigger city."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Ness," my mom said gently. "We'll consider it. If we do decide that Reed is the school for you, there are still a lot of arrangements to be made. We'll have to get your documentation together, for example."

I nodded. I knew that I would need a high school diploma, a driver's license and birth certificate that proved that I was over 18, and some other documents. Luckily, our family had an attorney that took care of such needs for us. I couldn't believe how well this was going. I had expected to have to plea my case a little more.

"There's also the matter of your diet," Dad said. "Living in the city, your options will be.... limited. Do you think you'll be able to stick to a more traditional human diet?"

I sighed. It was a small price to pay. "Yes." I thought for a moment. "Do you think Grandpa Carlisle would be able to get me just a little human blood from the hospital, so that I could have it occasionally?"

My mom and dad traded glances. "Don't you think keeping units of blood in the fridge may raise the eyebrows of your roommates?" Dad asked, stifling a grin. Truthfully, I wasn't sure about having a roommate. I was afraid it would be too difficult to keep my nature a secret, living in such close proximity to a human.

"You need to try to assimilate, Nessie," my dad said, obviously reading my thoughts again. "We'll eventually have to move from Forks, and blending in will become more of a part of your life once you're grown." Moving away from Forks permanently made me a little sad, but I knew it was just part of the life that we had to live.

"The new semester doesn't start for several months," Mom reminded me. "We'll have plenty of time to make these decisions." She walked over to me and embraced me. "It's hard to see you growing up so fast."

"It is hard, Mom, but we'll always be together. I can come home on weekends..."

"I'm fairly certain that Jacob will lose his mind if you don't," Dad stated with a laugh. "He's not going to let you go off that easily." This was something I knew. Regardless of where I went, I was bound to my family, Jacob included. Neither time nor distance would ever change that.

Promise

I stared up at the sky, enjoying the feeling of Jake's arm around me. Today was a rare day in Forks in which the sky wasn't completely overcast. In fact,we had been lying on a grassy hill and making a game out of finding pictures in the puffy cumulus clouds.

"Hey, look. That one is shaped just like a cloud," I joked.

Jake rolled over onto his side to face me. "Wow. I totally missed that one." I giggled.

Today was the kind of day I would have wanted to have for my birthday. I recalled the elaborate spread that Alice had composed at the house the day prior - a two tiered cake covered in chocolate strawberries (even though she knew I rarely ate food - I think it was more of a prop than anything), a dozen gifts, and entire tables filled with vases of wildflowers. I was very flattered that she went to such effort for me, but I really didn't like being the center of attention anymore than I already was. Instantly, I felt guilty for even having such thoughts. I was so blessed to have such a tight knit, loving family.

Jake reached out and played with a strand of my hair, wrapping his finger around the curl. "Have you ever noticed how much more red your hair is in the sun? It's so pretty."

I blushed. "I guess not. I mean, it's sunny, what, three days a year?"

He sat up. "I know I'm a cheater, but..." He reached into his pocket. "You're just going to have to suck it up and open just one more gift."

"Aw, come on. It's not even my birthday anymore! That window has closed." Nonetheless, he held out a small black box. I eyed it suspiciously.

"Oh, come on, Ness."

I sighed. "You win." I took the box and lifted the lid to reveal a beautiful ring, silver with a pretty oval sapphire. My heart pounded. For all intents and purposes, Jake was my boyfriend, but... this seemed a little soon.

"Relax, Ness. It's just a promise ring." He laughed. "No need for a coronary. It's your birthstone. Don't you like it?"

I nodded. "It's amazing." I lifted it out of the box and turned it around with my fingers.

"Well, aren't you going to put it on? It's a little too small for me." He tried it on his pinkie and it didn't make it past his knuckle. He paused, studying my face. "Renesmee, from the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew I'd never love anyone else the way I love you. I'd do anything for you, Ness. This is just a symbol of my promise that I'll always be faithful to you."

I swallowed. I did love Jake. He was my best friend, and so much more. I'd never felt this way about anyone before, yet... I just couldn't bring myself to put on the ring. This was all happening so fast. "Jacob, I love you. I really do."

He frowned. "But?"

"I-I don't know. I just feel like we need to take some more time..."

His lip quivered. "Is there someone else?" I brushed my hand across his face, resting it on his cheek. I showed him everything - the first memory I had of his face, the friendship that had blossomed into something more... the years of sweet memories we had together.

"I don't understand, then."

I sighed. "I don't know how to explain. I mean, though I appear as old as you, both mentally and physically, I'm really only six years old. I just feel like I haven't seen enough of the world. My life if flying by like a blur. Some days, I just wish I could make it all come to a halt." I swallowed back the rising lump in my throat. "It scares me, Jake."

He nodded, but still looked on the verge of tears. It hurt me so much to see him like that, that I briefly considered grabbing the ring and putting it on, promising him that I would stay by his side forever, but I just couldn't. I wanted him to have my whole heart, and I just didn't feel like I could make that promise to him right now.

"I think I may want to travel a while, maybe go to college. See the world."

"Ness, I'd go with you anywhere. You know that."

I put my arm around him. "I do, and I want to experience that with you one day, but for right now, I think I need to go it alone. I'm not certain where it will take me, but I do know where my heart will always be." I placed my hand on his chest. "I will find my way back to you."

Jake nodded again, slowly. "I'm not going to lie to you, Ness. It hurts. But I want what's best for you. That's all I have ever wanted." He took the ring and put it back in the box. "I'll be here, waiting for you, always."

We lied back down in the grass, arms entwined, and enjoyed the moment that we had together.

Plus que ma propre vie

I wasn't really sure where I was. I continued to run until my legs became so tired that I collapsed on the side of a road. I noticed a few small, scattered houses. La Push, I realized. I wandered past the small country store and made my way to Jake's house. I knocked on the door and waited a couple of minutes.

"Renesmee." Billy Black, Jacob's dad, answered the door in his wheel chair. "Jacob's not here. I assumed he was with you."

I thought for a moment. He must have gone to the cottage and once he found out that I wasn't there, gone to Carlisle and Esme's. "Thanks, Mr. Black. I think I know where he is."

Billy studied my face with a frown. "Is everything OK?"

I nodded. "Thanks. I just need to talk to Jake."

"Sure, sure. If you don't catch up with him, I'll be sure to let him know that you stopped by."

I pasted a phony smile on my face. "Thanks, Mr. Black." With that, he shut the door and I slowly trudged away.

Jake surely knew about this too. I furrowed my brow. I wasn't sure if I should feel betrayed or not.

I eventually made my way back to the main house. My mom was waiting for me on the front porch. She sighed in relief as I walked up the steps.

"Nessie." She took me in her cold stone arms. "Your father just called me and told me what happened. We were worried sick."

"I didn't mean to worry you, Mom." I stared into her topaz eyes. I hugged her tightly. I still had a lot of questions, but perhaps I had overreacted.

"Do you need to talk to me about anything?" she inquired.

I paused. How should I phrase this? I was almost afraid to say it out loud, to have my suspicions confirmed. I know the truth about my birth and your transformation, I told her silently, still in her arms.

Mom looked taken by surprise. After a few moments, she whispered, "You mean more to me than anything in the world, more than my own life."

I remembered the locket she'd given me on my first Christmas. Plus que ma propre vie, it was inscribed. "But how, Mom?" I released myself from her embrace. "How could you be willing to give up everything- your life, Dad- for me?"

She sighed deeply. "I guess you'd have to be a mom to understand, but... the moment I knew you were there..." She placed her hand on her stomach. "I knew my life's purpose was to keep you safe, at any cost. Everything else paled in comparison."

"Was it hard, not knowing if we'd survive?" I whispered.

"Yes. But deep down, I always had faith. You see, when your father transformed me, it wasn't a death. It was a beginning of a new life, a life I feel I was always meant to have." She shook her head. "You shouldn't be upset with your dad. What he did was very difficult, in more ways than one. He knew you were worth it, and so do I." Her eyes appeared to almost be shiny with tears, even though that was not possible for her. "Neither of us have any regrets. We were blessed far beyond what we ever expected."

Out of the corner of my eye, my father walked slowly up the steps, not wishing to interrupt the poignant moment. I turned to him. Quickly, I ran into his arms and buried my face in his chest. "Daddy..." Tears pooled up in my eyes. "I'm so sorry... I'm so very..."

"Shhh...." he murmured. Mom joined us in our embrace. I stared into the eyes of my parents and knew I would never have any more doubts about their hearts.

The Truth

I woke up to the dim light, glinting through my gauzy curtains. I noticed that the light appeared to be brightest to the east and realized that it was still morning. For the last several months, I've been prone to sleeping at least twelve hours a night, and last night proved to be no exception.

I stood up and stretched, wincing from the muscle strain in my arms and legs. Even though I knew it was from my perpetual growth spurt, I still hadn't gotten used to the sensation. I shuffled over to my mirror. My reddish brown curls were a tangled mess, and I did my best to tame them. I finally gave up and gave a cursory glance at my wall calendar. September seventh. I groaned, realizing that my sixth birthday was only three days away. I had no clue what my family was planning for me and the thought made me anxious. Again, it was one of the many things I should be used to by now, what with me being one of the few vampire/human hybrids in existence, but I wasn't. For one day, I just wanted to be normal.

Seeing that my parents weren't at home, I deduced that they must be either hunting or at the main house, where Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme and my aunts and uncles lived. No doubt Jacob was patrolling around our house. Though I considered myself practically grown, my parents and Jake were both still very protective over me.

I stepped outside and as if on cue, Jake greeted me at the front door. "Hey, Ness. Did you get enough sleep?" He grinned, his white teeth contrasting against his russet skin.

"Very funny. Yes, I did."

"Cool. Your folks are out hunting. Are you hungry?"

I shook my head, remembering the two large elk that I'd drained the day before. "I was actually about to go to the main house."

"Excellent. Want to race?"

I narrowed my eyes. "You're on."

Jake disappeared behind a few trees in the distance and phased into his wolf form (he'd never do it in front of me as he didn't want to be indecent). He walked back to me as a huge brownish wolf. I nodded again and we were off.

Running through the forest was always exhilarating. I loved the feel of the wind in my hair and the blur of color. Jake was by my side for the most part, though I sprinted ahead of him as the large white house came into view. By the time I reached the front porch, Jake was dashing from the edge of the woods, human again, and wearing a pair of cargo shorts that he'd tied to his ankle before he phased.

"You let me win," I accused as he slowed his pace to join me. I was a fast runner, faster than any human, but still no match for a wolf or vampire.

"Yeah, right," he laughed. "You were nothing but a blur." He walked up and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "Must be all that sleep you're getting that's giving you and edge," he teased.

I smiled. "Maybe."

We walked into the house to the sound of my father playing the grand piano in the living room. He looked up and smiled, quiting abruptly. "Good morning, sweetheart. Finally decide to get up?"

I nodded. So what if I needed extra sleep? It was only natural, since although I was only five years old, I was physically the size of a sixteen year old. My body had to have been exhausted.

Dad stood up and hugged me. I pressed my hand into his back. Where's Mom? I asked him in my own silent way.

"Hunting," he replied. "She went with Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper." I nodded. As vampires, my family had to hunt at least every two weeks or so. I alternated between hunting and eating human food. I preferred animal blood to human food, but I sometimes ate with Jake because he enjoyed the company. He thought it was nice to have someone else around that had a similar diet.

"So dear," my dad continued, "have you given any though to what you'd like to do for your birthday?"

I shrugged. "Not really. Mostly, I'd just like it to be a normal day. I don't want a big fuss."

He chuckled. "You are truly your mother's child."

"Seriously, Dad."

He sighed in resignation. "Fine. I guess we aren't going to celebrate your birth. My miracle child," he mused, a distant expression on his face.

"Miracle, indeed," I muttered, walking back out to the front porch, Jake trailing me.

"Ness-" my father began.

"Let her go, Edward. Surely you remember what it's like to have been a teenager." Aunt Rosalie, no doubt, had drifted into the room upon my exit. I heard my father chuckle.

I sat in one of the chairs on the porch.

"What's wrong, Nessie?" Jake asked standing next to me. I took his hand. You wouldn't understand.

"Try me."

"I just have felt kind of lonely lately, even though I'm surrounded by family. Have you ever felt that way?"

Jacob paused. "Yes. Years ago, when I first phased. I was bound by the secrecy of the pack. I couldn't tell anyone outside of the pack, not even your mother."

I nodded. He'd told me the story, and my mom and as well. I released his hand. But at least there are others like you to share your experience with, I thought to myself.

"You know, Ness, you can come to me with anything. I'm always here for you."

I hugged his side. "Thanks, Jake. You're the best."




"Happy birthday, Nessie!" my father cried, hugging me tightly. I smiled and looked around the room. Everyone was there-Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Jake, and even Grandpa Charlie and Sue. Everyone but...

"Where's Mom?"

My father hesitated. "She's upstairs," he muttered.

Alice grabbed my hand and towed me to a mirror. "Look, Ness. You're growing so fast. You're so beautiful and strong." I stared at my reflection and I did see myself slowing gaining in height before my very eyes.

"Renesmee..." a weak voice called. I looked up and saw my mom, walking down the stairs. She looked different somehow. Paler, and much thinner. Gaunt. She began to get thinner and more frail before my very eyes, until she wasn't much more than a skeleton with skin. The skeleton hugged me. "Happy birthday, baby."


I bolted upright, screaming. My eyes adjusted to the darkness of my room as I struggled to push the images from my head. Almost instantly, my parents rushed to my side.

"Ness?" my mom asked, taking me into her arms. "Did you have a bad dream?"

I nodded. It was just a dream, after all. Wasn't it? She clinged to me tighter. "It's OK, sweetie. Your father and I are here and you'll always be safe." My dad sat in the chair by my bed and began humming a lullaby until I fell back into a dreamless sleep.


The next morning, I still couldn't get the dream out of my head. There was something to it, something buried deep that I just couldn't shake. I needed answers.

I found my parents in the living room of our cottage, each reading a novel. "Dad?" I asked in a quiet voice. "Can we have a talk?" He stared at me, reading the questions and doubt in my head. He nodded and looked at Mom. She nodded back, a look of understanding on her face.

"Let's go for a walk, Ness."




"Let's go to the beach," Dad suggested. I hopped on his back, knowing we'd arrive much faster if he ran. As soon as I wrapped my arms and legs securely around him, he took off. In just a couple of minutes, I saw the ocean. We walked along the rocks silently.

"I knew this day would come," he said quietly.

My head raced. So, there was more than he had told me. Growing up, Mom and Dad sometimes referred to me as their miracle child. I faintly remember the day of my birth and that Mom was hurt badly. I didn't see her again for a few days.

"How is it that you and Mom had me, but Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie can't have children? Neither can Esme."

Dad sighed. "It's complicated, Renesmee."

I shook my head defiantly. "No, Dad. Enough." I thought for a moment. "If you don't tell me, I bet Jake will. I deserve to know."

Dad sat down on a boulder and I joined him. "I suppose that I don't have a choice." He looked wistful.

"You know that your mother hasn't always been like us, a vampire. When I met her, she wasn't. She was human." He smiled. "She was so beautiful, but had an even more beautiful soul. We fell in love quickly. She wanted very much to become one of us, but I didn't want her to miss out on everything that she could experience as a human, everything she'd have to give up." He paused. "Like having you."

If I was confused before, now I was even more so. "But how...?" I trailed off.

"We finally married, and it was the happiest day of my existence." He paused again.

"Dad..." I blushed. "I do know where babies come from. Mom had the talk with me two years ago."

He chuckled. "My grown up five year old. At any rate, about two weeks after we were wed, we found out that you were coming." He swallowed. "I'm not going to lie. We were not sure of your future, or your mother's. Like now, you grew so fast. Your mother became very ill. You you must understand... it wasn't your fault. Carlisle did everything he could to keep you and your mother alive."

Tears pricked in my eyes as I pieced it together. It all made sense now. The tears spilled over, streaking down my face. I'd always know I was different, different from Mom and Dad, and different from Jake, too. I was different, something that shouldn't be.

"Renesmee..." Dad said softly. "You have to know that this isn't your fault."

I deliberately tried to think of other things so he couldn't read my thoughts. I slowly stood up and began walking away from him.

"Renesmee, wait." He followed. "What are you thinking? Why won't you let me in?"

I whirled around to face him. I murdered Mom!! I screamed at him mentally.

"No, dear... you didn't."

"Why?? Why did you let me?" I screamed. "Why didn't you kill me and save Mom?"

"What? That's nonsense! Firstly, your mom is still alive. Secondly, I would never harm you."

"Alive," I spit out. "Yeah. A live piece of cold stone. She's not alive and neither are you. Your heart doesn't beat, you never grow older like normal parents..." I shook my head. "I hate you for what you did to her. Because of you, I'll never have brothers or sisters. I'll never be normal. I wish you had killed me!"

My father looked like someone had just slapped him in the face. He had absolutely nothing to say.

I turned back around and took off running, not really sure where I was headed, but knowing that I had to get away.