Promise

I stared up at the sky, enjoying the feeling of Jake's arm around me. Today was a rare day in Forks in which the sky wasn't completely overcast. In fact,we had been lying on a grassy hill and making a game out of finding pictures in the puffy cumulus clouds.

"Hey, look. That one is shaped just like a cloud," I joked.

Jake rolled over onto his side to face me. "Wow. I totally missed that one." I giggled.

Today was the kind of day I would have wanted to have for my birthday. I recalled the elaborate spread that Alice had composed at the house the day prior - a two tiered cake covered in chocolate strawberries (even though she knew I rarely ate food - I think it was more of a prop than anything), a dozen gifts, and entire tables filled with vases of wildflowers. I was very flattered that she went to such effort for me, but I really didn't like being the center of attention anymore than I already was. Instantly, I felt guilty for even having such thoughts. I was so blessed to have such a tight knit, loving family.

Jake reached out and played with a strand of my hair, wrapping his finger around the curl. "Have you ever noticed how much more red your hair is in the sun? It's so pretty."

I blushed. "I guess not. I mean, it's sunny, what, three days a year?"

He sat up. "I know I'm a cheater, but..." He reached into his pocket. "You're just going to have to suck it up and open just one more gift."

"Aw, come on. It's not even my birthday anymore! That window has closed." Nonetheless, he held out a small black box. I eyed it suspiciously.

"Oh, come on, Ness."

I sighed. "You win." I took the box and lifted the lid to reveal a beautiful ring, silver with a pretty oval sapphire. My heart pounded. For all intents and purposes, Jake was my boyfriend, but... this seemed a little soon.

"Relax, Ness. It's just a promise ring." He laughed. "No need for a coronary. It's your birthstone. Don't you like it?"

I nodded. "It's amazing." I lifted it out of the box and turned it around with my fingers.

"Well, aren't you going to put it on? It's a little too small for me." He tried it on his pinkie and it didn't make it past his knuckle. He paused, studying my face. "Renesmee, from the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew I'd never love anyone else the way I love you. I'd do anything for you, Ness. This is just a symbol of my promise that I'll always be faithful to you."

I swallowed. I did love Jake. He was my best friend, and so much more. I'd never felt this way about anyone before, yet... I just couldn't bring myself to put on the ring. This was all happening so fast. "Jacob, I love you. I really do."

He frowned. "But?"

"I-I don't know. I just feel like we need to take some more time..."

His lip quivered. "Is there someone else?" I brushed my hand across his face, resting it on his cheek. I showed him everything - the first memory I had of his face, the friendship that had blossomed into something more... the years of sweet memories we had together.

"I don't understand, then."

I sighed. "I don't know how to explain. I mean, though I appear as old as you, both mentally and physically, I'm really only six years old. I just feel like I haven't seen enough of the world. My life if flying by like a blur. Some days, I just wish I could make it all come to a halt." I swallowed back the rising lump in my throat. "It scares me, Jake."

He nodded, but still looked on the verge of tears. It hurt me so much to see him like that, that I briefly considered grabbing the ring and putting it on, promising him that I would stay by his side forever, but I just couldn't. I wanted him to have my whole heart, and I just didn't feel like I could make that promise to him right now.

"I think I may want to travel a while, maybe go to college. See the world."

"Ness, I'd go with you anywhere. You know that."

I put my arm around him. "I do, and I want to experience that with you one day, but for right now, I think I need to go it alone. I'm not certain where it will take me, but I do know where my heart will always be." I placed my hand on his chest. "I will find my way back to you."

Jake nodded again, slowly. "I'm not going to lie to you, Ness. It hurts. But I want what's best for you. That's all I have ever wanted." He took the ring and put it back in the box. "I'll be here, waiting for you, always."

We lied back down in the grass, arms entwined, and enjoyed the moment that we had together.